Kelly Clarkson shared that her divorce from Brandon Blackstock was a lot more difficult than she let on.
“Just to be brutally honest, I did not handle [the divorce] well,” the “Stronger” singer told Zane Lowe during a Wednesday interview on Apple Music.
“I don’t know how people get through anything like that because I’m not going to say I did it gracefully. Behind closed doors by myself, it was not.”
Clarkson, who filed for divorce in June 2020 after nearly seven years of marriage, recalled “crying so hard” even prior to their official split that she “couldn’t even speak.”
For that, she blamed her “unhealthy habits” during their marriage, sharing that they added to her grief as well.
While not directly naming Blackstock, Clarkson, 41, noted that the habits learned from her religious upbringing would sometimes lead her to put someone else’s needs before her own.
“That did not serve me so well, it turns out, in a relationship,” she said, adding, “There were just a lot of now unhealthy habits you recognize or habits that you recognize that you didn’t see before. Hindsight is a lot easier.”
Speaking out more about her time with the former music manager, Clarkson said in a June 13 interview that she stayed in her “limiting” marriage with Blackstock, 46, for so long because her “ego” got in the way.
“When you’re in it … I’m like I can do this. I can handle so much. I can control my actions. I can control my reactions,” she said on the “We Can Do Hard Things” podcast.
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She has also given some insight into the tumultuous partnership in her latest album, “Chemistry,” telling fans in March that the new music will cover all aspects of her marriage.
“This album is definitely the arc of an entire relationship … and a whole relationship shouldn’t be just brought down to one thing. So there’s, you know, the good, the bad and the ugly kind of thing going on in it,” Clarkson said in a video posted to Instagram.
Clarkson and Blackstock — who share daughter River Rose, 9, and son Remington, 7 — had a drawn-out divorce that was ultimately settled in March 2022 after two years of court battles.
The back and forth had a hefty price tag as their lawyers fought over custody of their children and properties.
In July 2021, the “American Idol” winner was ordered to pay her ex-husband nearly $200,000 in monthly spousal and child support.
She was also instructed to pay Blackstock’s legal fees, which amounted to $1.25 million.
Ultimately, Clarkson was granted primary custody of their two kids while Blackstock, who at the time was residing in Montana, will have the children one weekend a month.
The “Breakaway” songstress was also awarded their $10.4 million Montana ranch in 2021 after Blackstock, whose former stepmom is Reba McEntyre, requested that the ranch be shared equally between the two.
However, the judge disagreed with Blackstock given that Clarkson had paid for the multi-million dollar property.