Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know many of you won’t care, but for those of you who do, tsk all you want about me taking my six-year-old son to see a PG-13 movie. Him watching Godzilla squish some civilians doesn’t bother me at all.
In fact, Godzilla Minus One won’t even be the first PG-13 movie that I’ve taken my children to see. The first was Avatar: The Way of Water (which none of us were really all that impressed by), and the second was Haunted Mansion, which my son has since seen a second time ever since it came to Disney+.
No, Godzilla Minus One being PG-13 is the least of my concerns (Hell, my father took me to see Terminator 2: Judgment Day when I was only 8!). There are actually some other reasons why I’m slightly concerned. Hang with me for a little bit?
My Son Loves The Idea Of Godzilla, But I Know The Movies Can Be Slow
When I took my children to see Trolls Band Together the other day (Which my daughter thinks is the the best Trolls movie yet!) we passed a poster for Godzilla Minus One, and my son turned to me and asked, “Can we see that?”
Now, I ask you. As a serious Godzilla lover who has been a fan ever since I was my son’s age, do you honestly think I’m going to say, “No, son. Godzilla is scary, and I don’t want you having nightmares.”
Of course not! I said, “Oh, you know it!” to which my daughter rolled her eyes and said, “You two can see that one.” Which is fine, since I know my daughter doesn’t like Godzilla. Anytime I put on great big monster movies on MAX, my daughter grabs her Switch and heads into the other room.
But, my son always sticks around! He actually likes the idea of Godzilla, and he’s starting to become a fan.
However, when we’re at home, I fast forward through some of the boring moments. Because I’m going to be real with you. As much as I love every era of Godzilla, even I’ll admit that some of the movies can be a tad bit slow. Like Shin Godzilla, for instance. I mean, it’s a great movie. Don’t get me wrong. It’s probably one of the best Godzilla movies ever, really. But, I would never subject my son to it, since it’s very slow, which is fine for me, but it wouldn’t be fine for my six-year-old. And when we see Godzilla Minus One in the theaters, there won’t be a fast forward button.
Now, I hear that the movie is REALLY good (WithGodzilla director, Gareth Edwards, even proclaiming that it will be named “the best Godzilla movie of all time”), but, as I just mentioned, Shin Godzilla was also really good, and I don’t want Godzilla Minus One to turn my son off to Godzilla just because it might be a little boring. That’s the last thing that I want.
The Movie Will Be In Subtitles, And My Son Can’t Read That Fast
Okay, so I know this isn’t the best way to watch Godzilla movies, but for the few Godzilla films that I have shown my son, I’ve actually put on the English dubs. I know, I know. What am I thinking? But honestly, that’s how I grew up watching Godzilla movies (as well as Kung fu flicks), so that’s how I introduced them to my son. With poor lip synching, and similar sounding actors.
But, being that Godzilla Minus One is a Toho production and not one of the movies in the MonsterVerse, that means that the film is going to be entirely in subtitles, and quite frankly, my son, who’s in the First Grade, can’t read that fast.
Now, I’m all for subtitles (sub is better than dubbed, after all), but I know for a fact that my son is going to lean over to me and whisper, “What’d he say?” on a number of occasions. It’s the same when he plays video games where the text moves too quickly. He’s much better with games like The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom, where he can read the dialogue at his own pace.
So, I’m just worried that it’s going to be too much reading for my son, and he’ll grow bored and want to tune out. Because again, I don’t want my son to dislike Godzilla. Not when he’s just starting to become a fan.
My Son Often Has To Go To The Bathroom During Movies, And I Don’t Want To Miss A Second
Like many people, my son’s favorite part of going to the movies is not the film itself, but rather, eating the popcorn. And, with movie popcorn comes water (look, I’ll take my son to see a PG-13 movie, but I am not buying him soda). And with water always comes, “I have to go to the bathroom,” whispered in my ear.
Honestly, when it comes to one of his animated movies where I don’t really care about what’s going on, I have no problem taking him to the bathroom. Like, I remember when we once saw Spies in Disguise (Remember that movie?), and my son literally asked me to go to the bathroom TWICE during that film.
Thankfully, he’s gotten much better over the years. But, if my son starts to get bored watching Godzilla Minus One, I know he’s going to be more focused on his salty popcorn. And after he eats his popcorn, he’s going to drink his water. And after he drinks his water, I know he’s going to ask if I can take him to the bathroom, and…well…I don’t want to miss a single second of Godzilla Minus One! Especially if it’s as good as Gareth Edwards says it is.
I know I could really just leave my son at home with my wife if I really want to experience Godzilla Minus One by myself, but I don’t want to watch it by myself. My son said that he wanted to see it, and I love my son. So, it’s a trade off, as you can see.
My Son Is A Little Iffy When It Comes To Live-Action Movies
Here’s another thing. My son might like Godzilla at home, but when it comes to actually going to the movie theaters, he’s been a bit iffy when it comes to live-action flicks. Like, Dora and the Lost City of Gold, for instance. My son was bored to tears with that one. Granted, he was much younger back then, but he kept bouncing up and down on my mom’s knee, and complaining that he wanted to go home.
And the same went for Avatar: The Way of Water. Now, granted, Avatar 2 was a long movie (which I only took them to see because I thought they might like the 3D), but again, the same thing happened. He was bored beyond belief, and he didn’t even wear his 3D glasses, because he said that they “didn’t work.”
But, he actually loved Haunted Mansion, and he was also telling me how he really wanted to see Gran Turismo (though, we didn’t make it out to see that one). So, really, even though he likes Godzilla, he might not like this movie just because it’s a live-action film in the movie theater, and he’s kind of up in the air when it comes to that. Just another reason to be concerned.
My Son Really Loves A Lot Of Godzilla’s Enemies, And I’m Concerned That He Will Be Disappointed When He Doesn’t See His Favorites
I introduced my son to Godzilla, but his true love for the character came when he rented the almost-impossible-to-find PlayStation 4 Godzilla game at the library.
Honestly, the game isn’t all that great (Even though it fetches for some insane prices online), but the one thing he loved about it is that you get to play as many of Godzilla’s best enemies, and he kind of likes some of them even more than Godzilla.
For example, my son is a HUGE fan of Anguirus. In fact, he said he likes Anguirus even more than Godzilla, which was a little disheartening to say the very least. He also loves Mechagodzilla, Space Godzilla, and of course, King Kong. But, since this is a very different kind of Godzilla movie, which takes place after World War II, Godzilla is going to be the main attraction and it’s not going to feature villains like King Ghidorah or Anguirus, so I’m a little worried that he’ll be crestfallen since it’s just Godzilla.
But, you know. The reward can be great if he loves the movie, as I might have another life-long Godzilla fan underneath my roof. Wish me luck!